Jun 29 | Posted by: Andrea Zonn |

It’s such an amazing concept.  I find myself alternately seeking it, and being knocked over by it.


I haven’t written any music in over a year.  Before that, it was 15 years.  I was afraid of not being good.  I thought I was waiting for inspiration.


Lately, my little son is inspiring me.  I am awed at his growth.  At eight and a half months, he’s learning about the world, and his relationship to it, at a ridiculous pace.  He’s crawling, standing up, talking, every waking moment, right up until he simply can’t deny slumber any longer, he’s studying the way his hands move, or trying to make some new sound come out of his mouth.


Today, I have been inspired countless times.  I read a few of Jann Arden’s blogs.  What a beautiful spirit she has.  I’ve long been a fan of her music, but her prose is gritty, real, sincere and insightful.


I heard a wonderful feature on Victor Wooten on All Things Considered.  Victor talked about his technical studies as a child – ground breaking, for anyone not familiar with his bass playing.  But the interview was centered on his new album, which is very much a spiritual exploration.  He spoke of the inclination of many of us musicians, who lock ourselves away in a room practicing for years.  Chops, yes, you get.  But he spoke of the importance of getting out into the world and living your life, in order to bring that critical dimension to your performance.  How eloquent he was.


I was inspired by the kindness of my dear friends, Catherine and Aaron, who invited me to dinner at a moment’s notice.  As my dad used to say, “you can’t get that in a restaurant.”  He used to say that when he was proud of a meal.  He was right to brag.  And he was right about not being able to find anything that good, made with that kind of love, in an intimate setting.  The sounds of a home.  From the outside looking in, Catherine and Aaron have the kind of relationship I aspire to find one day, and I told them so.  They’re daughter in two months older than Leonard, his best gal-pal Rose.  And she’s all smiles.  At the center of an amazing love story.


Inspiring indeed.


And I received an email from my friend Holly, a music critic and journalist, critiquing the morbid abyss she found on her recent visit to her television news station.  Her thoughts and words filled me with compassion.  And inspiration.


I used to think inspiration’s target for me was in songwriting.  If only I could make an idea tangible enough, I could form a song that meet my own standards.  Part of that is still true.


But in the last many years, as I’ve grown older and wiser, I’ve come to realize that inspiration has always driven me.  I’m inspired to grow spiritually.  To be more and better than I was yesterday.  To continue the becoming of who I was intended to be.  I’m inspired by kindness.  I’m inspired by excellence.  I’m inspired by compassion.  I’m even inspired by tragedy, for it drives that voice of complacency to silence.


Lately, I’m inspired to show up.  Certainly for Leonard.  And finally, for myself.  It seemed that good self care was hard to justify before he came along.  But the gravity of the importance of good self care is undeniable now.  He needs me.  I don’t want to be 40.  But it’s going to happen.  I realized the other day, that I missed a lot of great fashion by being overweight for the last 20 years.  Next year, when I hit 40, I’ll be at a healthy weight.  But I won’t be gallivanting around in the stuff I used to want to gallivant around in.  Oh, well.  I’m coming to peace with my wrinkles.  And my greys.  It’s okay.  But I will be strong and energetic, and I’ll be a good mother.


I desire those around me to show up, too.  But sometimes they don’t.  And that’s okay, too.  At the end of the day, we’re all doing our personal best, no matter what that looks like.  And despite the best intentions, we, as humans, fail one another.  And that’s why we go to God.  He never fails us.  As for the humans, when we know better, we do better.  Sometimes the knowing is a long time coming.


As for inspiration, I AM inspired.  I wrestle with my desire to fulfill my ambitions, and the need for rest.  The demands of single motherhood are mighty.  And I love those demands.  When the baby sleeps, I can race to get things done.  But there are never enough hours.


Ah well.  All is as it’s intended to be.  And I remain hopeful, and optimistic.  Maybe tomorrow, I’ll cross a few more things of the list, and maybe that idea will become tangible enough to write that song.

dark web links <a href=" ">dark market list </a>

<a href=>molnupiravir tablet online</a>

tor darknet <a href=" ">darknet marketplace </a>

deep web drug store <a href=" ">tor markets 2022 </a>

dark market url <a href=" ">tor dark web </a>

ciprofloxacin 500mg brand - <a href="">purchasing cialis on the internet</a> cheap generic tadalafil

cheap viagra online in usa <a href=" ">sildenafil price canada</a>

tor dark web <a href=" ">darkmarket link </a>

<a href=>molnupiravir nz</a>

best darknet markets <a href=" ">darkmarket 2022 </a>

dark market onion <a href=" ">drug markets dark web </a>

where to buy sildenafil uk <a href=" ">viagra pills in india</a>

ivermectin lotion <a href=" ">soolantra ivermectin</a>

dark web drug marketplace <a href=" ">dark market link </a>

sildenafil 100mg <a href=" ">sildenafil 25 mg</a>

dark market onion <a href=" ">tor darknet </a>

sildenafil viagra vardenafil levitra and tadalafil cialis <a href=" ">cost of viagra vs cialis vs levitra</a>

levitra dosage and administration <a href=" ">cialis levitra viagra sample pack</a>

dark web links <a href=" ">darknet drug market </a>

best darknet markets <a href=" ">dark market </a>

dark markets <a href=" ">tor marketplace </a>

darknet websites <a href=" ">darkmarket 2022 </a>

levitra price check <a href=" ">levitra price comparison</a>

legitimate canadian mail order pharmacies <a href=" ">world pharmacy india</a>

prescription drugs account for 25% of all healthcare-related costs. <a href=" ">best drugstore eyeliner</a>

darknet drug links <a href=" ">tor market </a>

tor marketplace <a href=" ">tor market </a>

generic viagra without prescription <a href=" ">buy cheap sildenafil online uk</a>

<a href=>can you buy molnupiravir</a>

ivermectin for pinworms in humans <a href=" ">oral ivermectin for lice</a>

darknet drug market <a href=" ">darkmarkets </a>

verified online pharmacy <a href=" ">canadian pharmacy shop</a>

darkweb marketplace <a href=" ">darknet market </a>

tor marketplace <a href=" ">darknet market links </a>

canadian pharmacies online review <a href=" ">mailing prescription drugs</a>

sildenafil citrate 100mg side effects <a href=" ">sildenafil goodrx</a>

darknet market <a href=" ">dark web link </a>

darknet markets <a href=" ">tor markets links </a>

sildenafil vs cialis <a href=" ">viagra sildenafil 100mg</a>

canadapharmacy <a href=" ">buy viagra pharmacy 100mg</a>

lowest cost viagra online <a href=" ">viagra soft 100mg online canadian pharmacy</a>

best darknet markets <a href=" ">tor dark web </a>

tor market <a href=" ">darknet market links </a>

drugstore com online pharmacy prescription drugs <a href=" ">drug store near me</a>

dark web market list <a href=" ">darkmarket </a>

dark markets 2022 <a href=" ">tor market url </a>

dark web drug marketplace <a href=" ">darknet market </a>

vardenafil hcl price <a href="">levitra cost per pill</a> vardenafil hcl 20mg tab side effects

dark market url <a href=" ">dark web drug marketplace </a>

dark market link <a href=" ">darkmarket 2022 </a>

Post new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
Syndicate content